Video Games and Gameplay

The myth of gameplay length is always used to lure us in as suckers. Take Oblivion. What was it, over 50 hours of gameplay? Of course, with all the God damned running from place to place, it takes about 20 hours to get one third through the main story.

The reason I bring up gameplay length is because I was recently playing the classic GBC game Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages on my PSP, and I recently washed up on an island after a slight boating accident. (This isn't Link's Awakening, idiot.) This wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact that ALL MY ITEMS WERE STOLEN when I "came to" on the island. Great. You know what that means: FETCH QUEST! Tell me one time a fetch quest is fun. That's right. Never. So I had to trek across the whole island getting all my shit back. The problem was that I didn't always immediately get it back as soon as I found it. There was one hut with a guy who had both my strength bracelet [lets me lift things] and my Roc's feather [lets me jump]. The guy wouldn't let me take them back, even though he stole them from me when I was passed out, and even had the balls to demand PAYMENT for them. PAYMENT! God damn. So, since I couldn't pay [he asked for seeds, when I didn't have anything that could hold seeds as IT WAS STOLEN] he let me trade my shovel for these two items. I couldn't trade anything else, and I had to switch back and forth to get another one.

So, there was this big section of the island that required me to constantly switch between the bracelet and feather. I finished one section, and had to travel 7 screens to get another item, trek back another 7 screens, finish another section, and go back. Why? That part doesn't need to be there; if you find a guy passed out on the beach, check his pulse before you take his stuff, dammit!